Although the way we tell time is technically an arbitrary measure we’ve created for ourselves, there is something refreshing about experiencing the clock reset. 12:00 am means it’s the start of a new day. January means its the start of a new year. A start – it means its a chance to begin again.
2017 piqued a period of transition. It reminded me that there’s probably only one thing in this life I can be certain of : you can’t get to the rainbows without going through the rain.
Not to say, you must go through something bad to get something good. But, more-so, life is full of ups and downs.
In the past, I’ve been ashamed of those rainy days. The thunderstorms, the light drizzles, and everything in between. But it’s inevitable. And though I may not handle each situation with grace and poise, even though I will make mistakes, I feel its important to be able to forgive yourself.
I spent the better part of the year beating myself up, mostly for not living up to my own expectations.
I don’t want 2018 to be like that.
This year, I want to stop punishing myself. I want to give myself permission to re-discover and indulge in the things I used to love. (And thats mainly what brings me back here – my never ending passion for writing and the elements of style and fashion.)
This year, I want to find balance. I want to be able to push myself to succeed without crumbling when I fail. I want to take rejections in stride and actually *feel* good about my accomplishments. (Imposter syndrome ain’t nothin’ to mess with.)
In times like these, I am reminded of the Serenity Prayer:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
According to this random website I found, “The 12 step Serenity Prayer is a prayer for everyone, not just alcoholics. The prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr is specifically for people who want to break bad habits, change ways, and accept the things that cannot be changed.”
Like I said somewhere above, I’m in a period of transition – it’s not always going to be pretty but it’s guaranteed to be transformational. And I accept that.