I’ve been in sort of a funk lately. As graduation gets closer and closer, so does this impending pressure of having to decide what I’m going to do with my life. I’ve always envied those who’ve had a “dream job” in mind, because it enabled them to create a path to success that was measurable and made some kind of sense to them. It gave them attainable goals to strive for. But if you disregard that short period of time when I was 8 and I was adamant on becoming a singer just like Brandy, that’s never been the case for me.

I’ve never really looked at someone and said to myself, I wish I could be them or I wish I could do their job. I’m still unclear if that says I’m just indecisive, or picky, or some odd mixture of the two, but what I do know is that my experiences thus far have helped me make very clear distinctions on what I definitely do not want to do, but have also helped me discover some of the things I would actually like to do. And I’m learning to become OK with that.

Sometimes I feel like I’m falling behind my peers because I took time off to go to grad school, when, in many cases, some employers could care less about my graduate degree. But I think moving to New York, on my own, has been instrumental to my self growth, as a person and for my career. And I have to constantly remind myself of that when I think about what the future may hold.

Pondering this reminded me of a talk I heard from one of my woman crushes, renowned author Chimamanda Adichie. I deliberately made sure I typed up some notes from this talk in my phone because I knew I needed to make sure I remembered it. She basically said that thinking you have to find your purpose can be a waste of time. She brought it down to the basics: Life is short. Do your thing. Follow what you love. Follow what will give you a job so you can eat.

No truer words have been spoken, Miss Adichie.

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Coat – H&M; Top – Zara; Skirt – H&M; Heels – Zara

BTW, I do want to address that it is a privilege in and of itself that I have the liberty to spend time figuring out what I want to do. Many people have to worry about jobs that keep a roof over their heads before they can even think about what they actually like, and I think this point is often left out this type of conversation.

Additional BTW, I recently discovered this blue wall near my place and have become obsessed with it..so don’t be surprised when you see it frequently in my upcoming posts.

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